Solitude

This weekend has been one of my favorites of the whole year. It has involved very few plans, a deep cleaning of my room, a new Pandora station, a visit to the Museum of Art, and some new ugly sweater purchases from Deseret Industries. Tonight I had work until 8, and then I came home, vacuumed, and read some of my new favorite book. This is my new favorite passage from Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. My grandma gave it to me for my birthday this year, and as I have read it it has taken me quite by surprise. She beautifully combines my three favorite things- the ocean, writing, and introspection- into a beautiful narrative.

"How one hates to think of oneself as alone. How one avoids it. It seems to imply rejection or unpopularity. An early wallflower panic still clings to the word. One will be left, one fears, sitting in a straight-backed chair alone, while the popular girls are already chosen and spinning around the dance floor with their hot-palmed partners. We seem so frightened today of being alone that we never let it happen. Even if family, friends and movies should fail, there is still the radio or television to fill up the void. Women, who used to complain of loneliness, need never be alone any more. We can do our house work with soap-opera heroes at our side. Even day dreaming was more creative than this, it demanded something of oneself and it fed the inner life. Now, blossoms, we choke the space with continuous music, chatter and companionship to which we do not even lesten. It is simply there to fill the vacuum. When the noise stops there is no inner music to take its place. We must re-learn to be alone." pg. 35-36

Amen sister. I try to explain to my roommates that I really truly don't mind being alone this weekend. They have been sorry that my work has interfered with all the plans that they have made, but I'm not sorry. I may be missing a concert, or a trip to the movies, but I am recharging my batteries, and feeding my little soul. This weekend is a little jewel. I'm just grateful that I know how to be alone, and I can be with silence. I'm comfortable with my thoughts alone. mmmmgood.