24 inch Challenge From H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

For today's challenge I decided to pay a visit to the foil of abstinence, gluttony. In honor of my Australian friend, Paige's last night in the Estados Unidos, we went to Provo's famous hole in the wall, "Sensuous Sandwich," to attempt their ultimate challenge. Their challenge to any brave soul who is willing to pay for the opportunity, is to eat 24" of sandwich in 30 minutes or less. What is more American than eating way more than is healthy for you? I think the record was set by a crazy man who abolished his sandwich in one minute, 45 seconds. Insane. I have two friends who tried the challenge a few weeks ago, who finished their subs in 8 minutes each. Again, insane. I have no idea what gave us the idea that we could accomplish this mountainous task.

Roommate Hannah, Paige, and I were the only ones who tried today. Some other friends came for moral support/ to watch us torture ourselves. I ordered a turkey and ham sandwich with Monterey Jack cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, banana peppers, mustard and mayo- and I ordered the sandwich hot. (even typing this now makes me want to hurl a little bit.) The nice girls working tonight set a timer for us as soon as we were situated, and we began the binge. The first 6 inches were a breeze. They tasted good too. The next 6 inches were alright, but the flavor started getting old. The next six inches were nearly impossible. My stomach got really full, and the flavor of the sandwich became more repulsive with each bite. I was VERY uncomfortable, yet I pushed through to the end. Paige was incredible, and by the time I finished inch 18 she had finished the entire sub. She just kept saying, "I want to have the real American experience! I want to be American!" (It is sad that eating way too much is considered the American experience.)

Anyways, while on the home stretch of the last 6 inches, I nearly died. I tried with all my mental and physical strength to finish- I got to the point where I was trying every trick I've seen on Man vs. Food, or the hot dog eating contests I've seen on T.V. I stopped chewing, and washed the big bites down with water. Then I tried adding more mustard, and taking all the lettuce off to change the flavor, but to no avail. No matter what I tried, and no matter how much my peers encouraged me, there is no way I could take another bite. I forfeited with 4 inches and 4 minutes left- a disparaging defeat. Paige got her picture on a wall, and a 3X tee-shirt as proof of her victory. I got a really bad stomach ache that lasted all night, and a whole lot of regret. Lesson learned: Don't ever do eating a lot challenges no matter what is at stake. A tee-shirt isn't worth a night of extreme bloating and discomfort. Moderation in all things really is the best way to live life.

This is me, at the end of the 18th inch.

This was me by the time I was rolled back into my apartment.

Facebook, Texting, and Class

The items I decided to abstain from today are Facebook, and texting. Bad choice! Not because it is ridiculously difficult or anything- the opposite is true. This challenge was too easy, and in an embarrassing way. I only received one text measly message today. ONE MESSAGE! So naturally it wasn’t even difficult not to text people back. The only time I was tempted to initiate text message conversations were to ask my roommates about our plans for this weekend. I just waited until they got home and asked them. Easy peasy.

The one activity I didn’t plan on abstaining from was attending class. I played hooky today, and skipped Spanish class. I’m probably skipping writing a paper today too. It is due in twenty minuets, and I haven’t even done the reading that it is based on. We are allowed to drop a paper, so I guess this is it! Yippee skippy.

What did I learn from these experiments?

1. It isn’t worth it to abstain from texting, because I hardly ever text anyway. And when I do it isn’t conversational, it is business.
2. Facebook abstinence doesn’t really change my life either.
3. Skipping class is fun- being a slacker is too. However the fun is only momentary and slight anxiety attack that results lasts a little longer.

The extreme emotion I am feeling right now shouldn’t be confused as a result of this experiment. It is probably coincidental rather than causational. 

WWJD?

Today was "try to be like Jesus day." It was a great day, needless to say. Honestly, it was overwhelming to think about what the Savior would do, were he in my shoes. As I walked around campus, passing hundreds of strangers, I was frozen. If Christ were in my shoes, he would know each individual who was passing by. Not only would He know them perfectly, but he would feel all their pain, all their sorrows, all their burdens and trials. Looking at each person, I began to see individuals rather than masses. I can't do exactly as Christ would do, no one can. It is incredible to consider what little sorrow and pain that I have felt in my life, times a billion. It is incomprehensible. It is infinite. As is Christ. He is magnificent, and there is nothing he can't do. 

The other thoughts I had- my tummy hurt. I thought, "what would Jesus do?" I figure that either- A. He would have enough faith to make it better, or B. He would have taken better care of himself in the first place, preventing the problem all together. 

I really really didn't want to go to the gym today, "what would Jesus do?" I think He would go. So I did. 

Tomorrow's challenge: No f-book, or texting. I'm starting out sweet and simple- a good place to start if you ask me.

Experiement of Abstinence

Abstinence, n-

Pronunciation:  /ˈæbstɪnəns/

The action or practice of abstaining or refraining; forbearance.

(Oxford English Dictionary definition) 

To be a writer, is to capture life’s experiences in words. It is to show rather than to tell. It is to bring readers along side you on a journey to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. In order to better understand these extremes, I have decided to embark upon a quest of abstinence. By this I probably mean something different that you are thinking. My quest is to live without certain essential things, a different one each day, and then write about it. Or on the other side of the coin do something ridiculous all day long, and then write about it. 

Some possible things I am considering to abstain from include no sugar, no f-book, no water, no sleep, no touching my cell phone, no sock wearing, no makeup, no leaving the house, no opening my eyes, no music, no talking, no looking people in the eyes, no homework, no touching my hair, no gluten, no dairy products,  and no touching a computer. On the other extreme I am considering only speaking in rhyme, all liquids diet, singing all communication, always looking people in the eye, saying hi to every person I pass by, eating all things green, doing all my homework, asking only personal questions, walking with a limp, interrupting in every conversation, handing out my phone number to every man that comes up to the desk at work, writing every single detail of my day, only speaking in Spanish, and trying to be like Jesus. 

Today, I’m trying to be like Jesus. This is a seemingly simple task, but when attempting full heartedly, it can be a great challenge. So all day long, before I do anything, I have to ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” and no matter the response, I have to do it.

Clubbin'

Only in Utah will you find dance clubs that are alcohol and drug free, with more crowds coming for the country dancing than for the rap and kill people kinds of music. We went dancing Thursday night- we were supposed to go 80s dancing, but that club wasn't a dry club and two of the chicks with us are still under 21. I was secretly glad. I'm not really a hard core cluber believe it or not. I'm more of the read a book quietly kind of girl. 

ps. To Niccole and Stefanie- I am sorry we didn't come to your birthday party. It breaks my heart a little bit that I didn't get to dance with you. Please take me back. Love, Mary 

Solitude

This weekend has been one of my favorites of the whole year. It has involved very few plans, a deep cleaning of my room, a new Pandora station, a visit to the Museum of Art, and some new ugly sweater purchases from Deseret Industries. Tonight I had work until 8, and then I came home, vacuumed, and read some of my new favorite book. This is my new favorite passage from Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. My grandma gave it to me for my birthday this year, and as I have read it it has taken me quite by surprise. She beautifully combines my three favorite things- the ocean, writing, and introspection- into a beautiful narrative.

"How one hates to think of oneself as alone. How one avoids it. It seems to imply rejection or unpopularity. An early wallflower panic still clings to the word. One will be left, one fears, sitting in a straight-backed chair alone, while the popular girls are already chosen and spinning around the dance floor with their hot-palmed partners. We seem so frightened today of being alone that we never let it happen. Even if family, friends and movies should fail, there is still the radio or television to fill up the void. Women, who used to complain of loneliness, need never be alone any more. We can do our house work with soap-opera heroes at our side. Even day dreaming was more creative than this, it demanded something of oneself and it fed the inner life. Now, blossoms, we choke the space with continuous music, chatter and companionship to which we do not even lesten. It is simply there to fill the vacuum. When the noise stops there is no inner music to take its place. We must re-learn to be alone." pg. 35-36

Amen sister. I try to explain to my roommates that I really truly don't mind being alone this weekend. They have been sorry that my work has interfered with all the plans that they have made, but I'm not sorry. I may be missing a concert, or a trip to the movies, but I am recharging my batteries, and feeding my little soul. This weekend is a little jewel. I'm just grateful that I know how to be alone, and I can be with silence. I'm comfortable with my thoughts alone. mmmmgood.

How are you today?

When you ask someone how their day has been, the answer is usually, “aright,” “pretty good,” “awesome,” or something like that. If you ask, “Hey, how are you?” the responses are similar: “I’m great!” “Doing well, thanks!” or “”Pretty good!” But what do these phrases mean? “Good,” for one person might mean they are extremely happy while for another person it means their cat just died.

To remedy this problem, I have developed a scale to give everyone a common scale to  reference, aids in the discerning of what people really mean when they say their day was “good.”
Once people learn this scale, they can answer the how are you question with a number rather than a place-holder word.

1- six feet under, wish I was dead.
2- it just rained on my parade, wtheck?!
3- Studying on a Friday night
4- there’s a hole in my sock, slight annoyance
5- no complaints- pleasant
6- my mom called today
7- someone bought me lunch
8- Disneyland
9- I just won a lifetime supply of free ice cream!
10- exaltation aka celestial glory