Hello Blogging World! Big news, I had a baby! 5 months ago. His name is Luke and I am unhealthily obsessed with him. However, he takes pretty good naps now, which frees up a good 6 hours of my day. Cue reentrance into the world of blogging...
Anyway, having emerged from the sleep-deprived mess that is the first three months of motherhood, I have now entered an interesting place that I haven't heard a lot of moms talk about. I have asked a couple individuals if they have shared my experience, and only one other person felt the same way I do. However, I am sure I am not that unique or special in my feelings. Let me know how you feel...
Ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Always. Even when I went to college, I had that ideal scenario in the back of my mind like a lot of Mormon girls do. On the other hand, my mom worked as a teacher pretty much the entire time I was growing up, so I knew that the possibility of me needing to help provide for my family was something that was very possible. I was fine with this and prepared for it in case that was what ended up happening. Fast forward to last year. Andrew and I did the math and decided that it would be more economical for us to have me stay home with Luke. So my greatest dream became a reality when Luke joined us in June.
I have been home with him for 5 months, and thoroughly enjoyed the time I've gotten to spend with him. I can't imagine it any other way, really. However, I have been going a little bit crazy at home. The crazy is what I wasn't prepared for. What no one told me was that being a mom can be boring! It isn't really fun to change diapers all the time! As much as you love your baby, you still need to seek mental stimulation and challenges in other areas or you might go crazy.
I think this phase of my life is a unique one, only having one kid to handle who is so well behaved, I have more free time than I ever have and ever probably will have for a long time. I have never been good at being proactive at filling up my time with good things. So I have compiled this list of ideas for ways to fight the boredom and keep progressing as a stay-at-home mom. I think it is so important to keep learning and growing, even if I am not in the workforce officially.
1. Say NO to social media.
It is so easy to fill up your spare time with hours of mindless browsing of social media. It is an easy way to feel connected to the world, and to feel like you are actually doing something with your time. However, it is a trap, and it is addictive! It is so easy to sit and compare yourself to all the other moms. Comparing is the fastest way to make yourself feel crappy. I am not saying social media is bad, but it needs to be used in moderation. In my experience, it is so easy to waste way too much time on it if you are at home with a sleeping baby. I am currently on a social media fast. I have been sober since Monday. My goal is to stay away from it at least until I get home from Thanksgiving break. I am hoping this step back will help me reinvent how I spend my free time, and kick my addiction.
2. Make friends and hang out with them!
It is unhealthy to stay at home by yourself all the time. It is unhealthy for you, and unhealthy for your marriage. On days when I haven't had any human interaction my poor husband comes home from work, exhausted, only to meet a depressed and chatty wife. I can tell that it's unhealthy for me to depend solely upon him for all my social needs. There isn't enough time at the end of the day to start with. Also, women need friends! We need people to interact with and talk with and hang out with. On days when I make an effort to do things with other people I am so much happier. I would love to get involved in park groups, and mommy-and-me classes too.
3. Find a way to earn some extra income on the side.
This is something I am trying to do right now. I am hoping to find some kind of contract-writing work that will help me to keep growing and developing as a writer, as well as earn a little extra cash on the side. The problem with staying home is that we now have half the income, and all the hobbies I dream of pursuing cost lots of money! If I can find a way to earn some dollars, then I can use that money to fund my artistic interests.
4. Read. Real books, not just the internet.
5. Plan and make healthy meals. I've tried to incorporate the pinterest recipes I've drooled over but never actually had the time to make.
6. Take the time to get your body back into shape.
Luke and I love going on really, really long walks. It's great exercise, and it helps to pass the day. It's good for Luke to learn how to be happy outside in his stroller too. My body isn't bouncing back postpartum as I wish it would (or as the people I facebook stalk), so any opportunity to get active is great. It also helps to lift the spirits and clear the mind. I am so much happier when I take time to get movin.
7. Get out!
I have found I need to get out of the house at least once a day. Whether that is meeting up with friends at a park, or just browsing the aisles at Target, it doesn't matter. Just getting out is what's important.
8. TBD.
Honestly, I am still trying to navigate this new life. Part what makes it challenging for me it is the dramatic change from working full time to not working at all. Part of it is the dramatic change my body has undergone. Part of it is probably a little postpartum depression/anxiety I am dealing with. This list is how I am learning to be the best me that I can be.
