It's the End of the World!

I'm 99% positive that the world isn't really going to end tomorrow as some radical thinkers have predicted based off of their readings of the Mayan calendar. However, I do find it an intriguing thought to consider how I would spend today if it really were the last day of my life on the beloved planet Earth we know and love so much. In reality I think if I knew that today was going to be the earth's last day  I would have already headed up to Idaho to spend the day with my family. But that is a boring answer, so I've brainstormed what other ideas there are of what to do on your last day given the family answer doesn't count.

• build a  bunker in the living room with pillows and blankets and have a candle light vigil for the earth
• hug a tree
• repent
• spend all my money on really cool memorable activities and eat really good food that is specific to our earth
• hug the homeless so that they know someone cares, or just hug everyone in the world

As I think about this scenario it becomes more and more complicated. The truth of the matter is that if everyone in the world knew that the world was going to end it would be pure chaos and most of my ideas wouldn't work. The other consideration that makes this scenario constricting is the fact that I'm a Mormon, and the eternal perspective of things, i.e. knowing that there is life after death, makes the last day idea a flop. Another thing is that this scenario just doesn't make sense logically. I just can't see the whole entire world melting away in the space of 24 hours. It took thousands of years to create this thing! It isn't going to go away in the blink of an eye. So much for the 1% chance that today was going to be the end of the world. Long live planet earth!

Culinary Attempts

So as a part of my attempt to not be bored to death and to further cultivate my talents/mind during this break I've decided that this week I will practice my cooking skills. So today I made a favorite of mine, Penne Rosa, from Noodles and Company. I have had a craving for it for quite a while. This recipe really measures up to the real deal if you're familiar with it. So good. Tomorrow I'm trying this recipe for a Copy-Cat Zupas Wisconsin Cauliflower Soup. Then I'll finish off the week with Paula Deen's recipe for Spinach and Bacon Quiche. If you're interested in coming over for dinner any time soon, please contact me. I have a lot of food but only a limited amount of stomach space.

Fear of Stagnation

I love the feeling of finishing a semester and having nothing left on my to do list. I really do. However as soon as I finish my last final a panicky feeling starts to set in, because free time is such a foreign concept to me. I think to some degree I define myself by what activities fill my time and the prospect of having to be completely proactive in filling my time with worthwhile activities can be intimidating. I know this probably sounds ridiculous, and I think is evidence of the "grass is greener" syndrome, but it's just the way I feel sometimes.

This break however, I've got plans. I've always wanted to learn how to knit, so I purchased the supplies and am currently trying to learn via Youtube. My goal is to make a scarf and some slippers. Also today I want to go to the Museum of Art here on campus and have a gander and then next week I'm going to go to yoga at least twice. It is really fun for me to remember things I like to do, and to have the chance to actually do them. Sometimes the drudgery of school makes me forget that life beyond the library exists. But the purchase of yarn and knitting needles instantly removed my fear of stagnation. Fear of empty space to fill transformed into excitement over so much opportunity.

This is probably my favorite Mormon messages. It summarizes my feelings on the point nicely I think. Read the whole talk here!

Five Year Crisis

Sometimes I like to flip through old posts and see what I was doing at the same time in years past, just for funzies. Exactly five years ago from tomorrow I posted this picture on my blog as a visual representation of the inner exhaustion I was experiencing while preparing for my very first semester final exams. When I stumbled upon this post in particular I was very amused for many reasons, the first being that I would actually post a picture of myself like this on the internet. The picture is also amusing because of the feelings it stirs up. Old feelings. It makes me feel really really oooolllddd. It was five, 5, FIVE years ago! Holy Hannah. I've been in school for too long. A popular get to know you question is always, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I wouldn't have ever guessed I'd be where I am today, five years ago.

I think that at this point in time I was declared an Art Major or Art Education Major. I was 18 years old, barely old enough to vote. I was still really worried about grades and put in the time to get perfect ones. I hadn't met the majority of people who I consider to be my closest friends. I had close to zero dating experience. I wasn't even considering transferring schools at this point. Studying abroad was something I hadn't considered yet either. I hadn't ever owned a car before. My laptop was new and cutting edge. I hadn't ever run more than 7 miles. My brother was only 11 years old. I hadn't ever tried Indian food yet, or Thai food, or frozen yogurt. I don't think I own any of the clothes that I did then. I hadn't yet discovered my love for yoga, edamame, or stretch pants. Youtube wasn't really a thing. My family still lived in Utah. I hadn't ever been to a legitimate art museum. I had only lived with 3 of the 30-something roommates I've had. None of my friends were married. None of my friends had babies. I hadn't ever tried snowboarding. I didn't know how to play the guitar. I didn't know Pandora existed. I could still do some math and science. I hadn't really paid bills. My love for the library was just beginning to blossom at this point. I wasn't old enough to work for EFY, but technically I could have attended EFY as a participant. I couldn't yet stand having my fingernails painted. I hadn't yet been to the Oregon coast, Chicago, or New York City. I didn't yet own any of the sweaters from my ugly sweater collection. In fact the thought of having this kind of collection hadn't ever crossed my mind.

I suppose I could go on forever about the things I've done in the past five years and the ways that I've changed etc. Really though it comes down to the fact that these have been five golden years that I wouldn't trade for anything. I have figured out (mostly) the person I want to be and what I want to do with my life and I've had cool adventures along the way. It will be interesting to see where I'll be in five years from today. I predict that in five years:

• I'll be graduated, and have my teaching degree. Maybe I'll be teaching.
• I'll be 28 years old.
• Maybe I'll be married with a kid or two?
• I'll have been more places, seen more cool things, developed new interests.

These are the only predictions I can make at this point in time. It's cool to note that I have say in what happens in these years to come. I think my next project will be to brainstorm things I want to see happen in my life, and make a plan to see them happen. May the odds be ever in my favor. Let the games begin!

Zumba

I have a blasted membership to Gold's Gym, and have had it for most of my time spent here in Provo. I like having a membership for two reasons:

1. There are TVs on every treadmill which makes running more exciting than it otherwise might be, especially in the very cold winter months.
2. There are tons of classes to go to, which are seven times as fun as running anywhere.
3. I lied, there are 3 reasons, the third being that you can go to the gym 24 hours a day. I can go workout when otherwise it would be too dark to go, being a girl and all.

There are downsides to having this membership too. Including:

1. It costs money.
2. It is a 2 year contract.
3. I have to drive there.
4. I only know 1.4 people who have a membership who can go with me, and they live far enough away that it can be a challenge to go together. This is only a problem because it is easier to go when you have people to go with.

It would appear that the pros are outweighed by the cons, but I don't really know how to get out of my contract. This, however, is not what this post is about. 

Yesterday I went to a class for the first time in forever. I was lucky to have a class cancelled, allowing me time to go to Zumba, one of my favorites. It is hilarious to go to partly because of  me, but mostly because of the other class attendees. I am sure that I am ridiculous to watch, trying to do these intricate aerobics meets hip hop meets Latino dance moves. I have zero hand-eye, leg-arm, arm-body, etc. coordination. My family will attest to this, as will the videos we have of my very short career as a member of a clogging team. I get enjoyment though avoiding looking in the wall-sized mirrors and pretending that I'm a girl with swagger. That is 1/3 of the fun.

The other 2/3 of the fun comes from people watching. There are three different groups of people who come to these classes. The first are the super fit, skinny, tan, middle aged moms/who knows what they do. They have perfect hair, and perfect little exercise outfits that border on the scandalous side of the spectrum. I am so impressed by their commitment to physical fitness and their saucy dance moves. From far away they look like they are 20 something but upon closer inspection you see small lines around their mouth and eyes, revealing they are older than they appear. Perhaps it's classes like Zumba, along with tanning beds, keeping them so young.

The second group of people are the Latinos who actually can do all the moves with grace and real skill. They are way fun to watch, because their hips don't lie. Individuals in this group come in all different shapes and sizes. The third group of people are people like me, who are there to have a good time, but aren't quite cutting it. This class was just a bundle of kicks and giggles. The energy level is always incredible when you gather a group of women together like this one.

Perhaps I should mention there was one man present, who fit into the first category of people. He had a really coordinated workout outfit and knew every move by heart. The instructor actually invited him and his wife? onto the stage to do one of the songs with her. He and his wife? were wearing a matching outfit. Cute.

Christmases Past

I had a very happy, very blessed childhood and was in no way deprived of Merry Christmases. However, every kid always has a few things on their Christmas list that are a little bit outlandish in hopes for a true Christmas miracle and a kind hearted Santa delivery. Here are the outlandish Christmas wishes I've had throughout the years archived here for no other reason than to take a walk down memory lane.

Age 8-12

I always wanted a barbie jeep. They sold them at Costco. I knew that if we broke something then my parents would have to buy it, so I created a plot where I would "accidentally" fall on the jeep breaking it just enough so that my parents would have to purchase it and it would still be usable. I never had the guts to do it though. Also, I think I told my parents my plan which defeated the purpose of having a plan.

Age 12

Becca and I wanted a handheld TV. We didn't really know if they existed or not, but they seemed cool. 

Age 13

giant makeup kit. Maybe I got this, I don't remember...

Age 14

A real acceptance letter from Hogwarts, verifying my belief that I was a witch caught in a muggle world.

Age 15

I think these teen years I didn't really want anything in particular, which is why I mostly got magic tricks and origami--which I thoroughly enjoyed!

Age 16

A new car. Duh.

Age 19

A tanning bed.

Age 21

A boyfriend.

Age 22

World Peace.

Age 23 (current)

College paid for. :)

Gratitude Update

Last week I thoroughly enjoyed my gratitude project, but I didn't really fill up a whole notebook yet. Also, in writing in the book I noticed that I was employing other elements besides frequency. It was also turning into an exercise in span, depth, and breath or whatever as well. Once I start writing down things I'm grateful for I just can't seem to stop. I'm grateful for gratitude. So the nature of my project has changed to just fill up this notebook, maybe two of them, by the Christmas. Also this week though my aim is to express gratitude to individuals as often as I can when I feel grateful for things no matter how big or small. Sometimes I feel grateful but I fail to express that gratitude to anyone besides me and myself and sometimes God.

Some highlights from the week that I was particularly grateful for:

• My mom called me several times this week just to send me good mommy vibes and let me know how much she loved me/how great she thinks I am/ how grateful she is for me. It was really timely lovin. I really love hearing from my mom and appreciate all the confidence she has in my abilities, and her willingness to take the time to express that to me. Moms rule. 
• I lost my house key this past Thursday. I don't think I noticed it was gone until Friday when I was trying to go home to eat lunch. That was a depressing realization. I had no idea where it could be or even where to start looking. Then on Saturday I was taking my backpack back to my room and didn't realize that a pocket was open. Behind me I left a trail of the contents of my backpack, which was mostly gum wrappers. Low and behold, as I gathered my things there was my key! It was a Christmas miracle!
• We made gingerbread houses! I am really in the Christmas spirit this year, and really just wanted to decorate cheap graham cracker gingerbread houses before I went home for real Christmas. We did it!  Another Christmas miracle! 
• We had enough food for break-the-fast on Sunday, which is always a relief. I accidentally stress about it way too much. I hope that this time I learned how to not stress so much and how to just be a pleasant co-chair rather than a frazzled one. I'm grateful it is over... :)