I don't remember what it was like to breastfeed, even though it was only 4 months ago that I stopped. It seems ridiculous to me that I could forget something that I did everyday, at least 5 times a day, for an entire year. I don't remember what it was like to hold Luke before he could wriggle and squirm and push away. I don't remember when he switched from 4 naps a day to 3, or from 3 to 2. I don't remember all the movies and shows we watched in the hospital while waiting for him to join our family.
On the other hand, I do remember not being able to sleep because I was so worried about Luke, and anxious for his arrival. I do remember wanting to hold him forever. I do remember his first smiles, his first laughs, and the first time he crawled on his hands and knees. I remember how wonderful it felt when he first slept through the night. I remember his first bath, and his first shots. I remember how it felt when they first laid him on my chest. I remember watching Andrew hold him for the first time, with amazement and love in his eyes.
People always told me that the reason you have more than just one kid is because you forget all the hard stuff. Four months into the journey of parenthood I didn't believe it. But then I have already forgotten. Too quickly. It is crazy to me that the things that were so hard and so all encompassing can be so easily erased from my mind. It makes me want to hold on a little tighter, and a little longer, to today. And make a little more effort to keep a record so that I don't have to say, "I don't remember."
1 comment:
Love this
Post a Comment